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February 2009


No Arts and Culture


I think that people had a lot of work, they were bored and so they discovered arts and culture. It is sad that people give much more money to culture than for example to nature. What are we going to do without fresh air and clean water in the future?


Population has many celebrities and everyone wants to be like them. It shows that people prefer more the people, who start their path because of people who were watching them in TV, than clever scientists or lawyers who do their best to be the best. Mankind should be investing in better things than arts and culture.


Bara Flame



Economics and business



   The PORG has earned a hundred thousand crowns.  Because of a fee in the library, PORG earns money from its students. If you bring back a book you borrowed late, you have to pay the fee which is only one crown. But the only problem with the PORG students is that they always bring the books late. And the main problem are the films which you can borrow only for three days. The headmaster of the PORG Mr. Klaus is now thinking how to spend the money the school earned. After a while he decided  to build a sauna beside the library in the underground for teachers, because they are too stressed by students. The sauna is allowed for teachers only because Mr. Klaus doesn´t believe that students won´t presume on the sauna.


Sebastián Vích




Small town Damon was destroyed by strong windstorm.


Damon that lies at the seaside was badly damaged by a very strong windstorm. The windstorm also caused big waves which flooded  part of the town. Most of houses were completely destroyed. Strong wind blew many roofs away. Streets which were damaged by water are impasse. Trees were uprooted and cars were burnt down.

The Mayor of the town had a speech in the square in the open air because the town hall was destroyed. He said: “We are in a very bad situation but I promise that I will build up all destroyed builds. The electricity will be reconnected in a few days. Water and gas as well. Everyone who lost his house will be paid money for rebuilding it.”

Hundreds of volunteers are coming to Damon every day and helping the inhabitants of the town.

We will inform you about the situation in Damon in several days.


Štěp Tretiag



 25. 5. 2038


Ministry for education renamed


Ministry for education was renamed yesterday. Ministry for PORG – this is the new name for this ministry. The old-new minister for PORG (formerly Education], Václav Klaus jr., son of ex-president Václav Klaus sr., who was removed from the office of the Czech president after declaring a war to European Union in 2010, explained to us the reasons, which led to the change of the ministry name: “almost every school in the Czech Republic is now PORG. There are loads of PORG universities, e. g. PORG - Charles University or PORG – VŠB TU Ostrava, PORG – Kindergartens, PORG elementary schools, PORG grammar schools and so on. There are really a few schools now, which aren’t PORG yet, but it won’t take a long time to change it.”

            Ministry for PORG also announced a plan to build a PORG Museum, which will be ssituated in the building of PORG Libeň, the very first PORG School in the Czech Republic. And where will students of PORG Libeň be studying if there is the museum in their school? “It’s not a big problem. There are PORG Zámeček and for worse students PORG Koráb nearby. It’s no problem to place them in these schools,” told us Daniel Přibík, executive director of PORG Libeň, who will retired anyway next year.

It remains only to say: good luck PORG!!!


Honza Kaczor



It this school year an IT seminar is held at PORG. People in this seminar make web pages. They are taught by Mr. Böhm. They are always in the same class and no one can go there. One student went into this class  last Wednesday and since then nobody hes been able to see him. At the seminar Ondřej Ticháček is for example (he is accused of helping the devil) or Matěj Málek (accused of jumping too high). Their activitz is really strange because they don’t want to show web pages which they invented. Maybe they do a very dangerous project that would destroy the world. Who knows?






It is almost icredible, but police  arrested a mad person in our school last Wednesday. He escaped from PL Bohnice, got on a bus (n. 200) and got off at Kobylisy, where he met a student from tercie. He/ she had no idea that the person was mentally unstable, so he/ she directed him to our school. When a crazy man got there, he wanted to eat a piano in the basement, then he was trying to get into a library (which was – fortunately- closed) and when he saw, that it made no sense, he ran up to the first floor, where he joined a class of physics pretending he was a normal student. But at this time the police were already looking for him in the basement. And after the class was over the police finally came and arrested him.


Betty Muf


Leisure interests: Pause

Many students spend their free time with a computer. They are able to spend the whole break in the computer room. I agree that it is better and funnier than sitting in a class and being bored. But there is one thing I don’t understand. Why do they play some stupid and valueless flash games? I’d like to suggest to them playing some valuable games like GTA IV or Burnout Paradise. Both of them are available in English, so they are good for the development of student’s brain. If you are interested in it, please contact your system administrator.




Obama at PORG

Preparations for the arrival of American president are being finished.

At least 18 months ago (it is still a secret and nobody was able to tell us when it was exactly) president’s office announced a contest for every school in the world. Every single school was contacted by a CAE agent, who told them everything about that and also “forced” them not to tell it to anybody. Now, we are able to say nearly everything about it, because the contest finally finished.

So, CAE agents contacted schools around the world to ask them if they wanted to take part in the competition. If they said yes, the agent considered the condition of school. When it was not able to accept the award, the agent crossed them out from the list.

After this sorting out there were still tens of thousands schools. The president’s office decided it by drawing it. Only thirteen of them were honoured to be visited by the new American president!

It was exactly the same chance as to win in a lottery but one of those schools was PORG. That is maybe the explanation about what happened with the 10 million…

On the other hand, PORG was the last school taken out from the box, so our number is thirteen…



Ondřej Ticháček





Matěj Málek has won a competition with a very crazy name: Who will jump from the highest window and won't die.

The competiton was held yesterday on the Žižkovský TV Tower and it was really dangerous because there are babies (just plastic models of them) and some racers fell down on them and they were disqualified. But Matěj flew through every one of them and he won. He made a new world record and every photographer wanted to interview him.

He got a gold medal and an offer to work for the company which helps children who want to kill themselves by jumping from some high places. We don’t know whether he agreed or not. And now he is very famous in the Czech Republic and a bigger hero than superman (for children).


Jitka Jirouskova


Leisure and interests in kvinta


Everybody who has ever been to kvinta knows that it could be a very dangerous place. It´s because of a favourite interest of a several people - fighting. Therefore be careful before coming inside because you could be shot down by some pillows or even something worse.

The more interesting entertainment might be writing an epos by FMP about people from Kladno, which now contains about 2500 lines of poetry. FMP´s job is admirable, but only in case when it is not bowled out exactly into other ears, which usually happens. That is about a minority of people in the class. And the other people? Their interests are individual and basically similar. Now I mean reading, playing on a computer, discussing, sleeping, listening to music and such like.


Jana Havláková



The war between Podlipného and Konšelská streets


            On Monday the war was declared between streets Podlipného and Konšelská. A hippopotamus from street Podlipného killed a sea bear from street Konšelská. President of street Konšelská the tiger Ferdinad and Konšelskás goverment dispatched an army to street Podlidného. There was the big battle cold "Near door“ whitch was definitely won by the Konšelkás army. There were two snakes, three zebras, a snail killed, five stones, one window and many microelephants.

            The day after the goverment of street Podlipného dispatched their own army to street Konšelská. The Battle called "Between four bins“ was a lot more bloody, than the battle "Near door.“ From Konšelskás army fifty black cats were killed, forty trees cut, two extremely large kangaroos and a giraffe killed.  From Podlipnéhos army thirty five camels, eight pieces of paper and three pairs of shoes were affected.

            "Make piece! Not war!“ was written on Wednesday morning on each house of streets Podlipného and Konšelská. A small group of chicken from both streets converted to be hippies and their demonstrations stopped the war. President tiger Ferdinad had dinner with king hamster Rudolf MMCVII. "We all are happy!“ said a lamp from street Podlidného. „She is right!“ said another lamp from street Konšelského. Now everything is OK, the world is nice, life is funny and enjoyable.


Dominik Obruča


Elektrishe Schlüpke sells out stadiums


Extravagant style, wrongly spelt name and crazy lyrics are causing a marvellous success of a young band from Prague every second of these days!

The front man of this surprise of the year, Dom Hoop “Whoop”, is the most sought out person on the Internet in the Czech Republic! He is so popular especially for his whooping during the songs, but his long beard and mauve clothes are also almost cultic.

Andy Silencer, their drummer, is really noisy in fact. He seems to be insane at the concerts, but in real life he is absolutely calm, they say. “A PC-maniac” said once Hoop “Whoop” about him.

The guitarists, Mickey Newman and Johny “Quack” Duck, are like brothers – the same style, the same guitars and quite similar music styles… Furthermore, their girlfriends are sisters! Unfortunately all of these musicians are engaged. “Sorry, ladies” that is the message for the groupies.

The next concert will be on this Friday at 8 p.m. in the Eden stadium. The band is planning presentation of a new song called “Beards are wagging”.